Monday, February 27, 2012

Pharmacy.

I want to be a pharmacist.
with all of my heart, I know I want to be a pharmacist.

And being in the pre-pharmacy phase of working TOWARDS being a pharmacy student is one of the most draining things ever. It's so hard when all of my friends are working towards their actual degree and profession with every class they take, and they have a target date for graduation.. 

Meanwhile, I work and work and work... and don't know if it's even going to be good enough to get into the program for the career I want. I'm tired of constantly feeling like I'm not good enough. The classes I'm in are designed to weed people out, and it's so hard to stay positive and keep trucking through lately. I know I'm not a dumb person, I graduated in the top 10 of my class in high school.. but the past year and a half has been so trying on me. My GPA is worse than I need for it to be, and I know I worked hard in my classes.. but it feels like it doesn't even show. I know Organic Chemistry like the back of my hand, I know the ins and  outs of it... and all the Pharmacy Schools will see is a letter grade. I hate that.

I just want to make A's again. I'm tired of C's.. and failing tests after studying for nights on end. I'm tired of the uncertainty of WHEN I'll be accepted to Pharmacy school.. or IF anyone will even want me. 

And I know I shouldn't think this way, but at a point you just break down. I'm emotionally exhausted, and just spent.

I love the Pharmacy profession without a doubt, and I refuse to give up until I am accepted to Pharmacy school. I'm just ready to go NOW, I'm tired of waiting. I want to be working towards my dream profession, instead of being in limbo about when I'll be able to do it. 

Working in a Pharmacy has given me so much motivation, and taught me SO much more about the profession. I'm so grateful to have been given the chance to work there, and going to work doesn't even feel like a job because I love seeing our patients every day. I love that we have such a direct impact on people's lives on a daily basis. I love that we can help people understand the importance of their health. I love that we can help someone feel better, and ease the pain for them just a little so that they can enjoy every day THAT much better. I love how rewarding it feels when a patient comes in and tells us how much they appreciate and love us for everything we do to help them through their healthcare crises. I just feel like I'm in my element when I'm in the Pharmacy, and I'm ready to be more than the Over-The-Counter/Phone-Answering Specialist. ;) 

A few weeks ago I found out that I've been granted an interview with UGA's College of Pharmacy for their PharmD program. I'm beyond grateful, and so incredibly excited that I've been given the opportunity to interview. Something I didn't even expect to be granted when I applied this year, but it's hard to fully enjoy it all because I don't want to get my hopes up. Based on the stats of last year's accepted applicants I know I'm in the lower end of the range, and I know I have room for improvement in my PCAT scores.. and my GPA. So keep me in your prayers over the next month, it's going to be a rollercoaster of emotions while I try to prepare for the interview... but also prepare myself for if I'm not accepted. 

And in the meantime I've been trying to focus on encouraging bible verses to ease my worrisome self. 

Jeremiah 29:11

29 comments:

Kristine said...

Keep your chin up, girly. It's stressful right now but you're a smart gal and you'll get through this and be the best damn pharmacist the world's ever seen :)

www.livingbarefootandcrazy.blogspot.com ♥

Ally Garner said...

Happily praying. Feel encouraged Leslie. All of your hard work will not be for naught. Believe that. I wish I had answers for you, but I don't. What I do know is that determined, intelligent, hard-working, passionate people who seek to help others always ALWAYS realize that dream in some fashion or another. Just believe.

Praying for comfort & confirmation for you!

Marjorie said...

keep going! don't give up. have you considered hiring a tutor? that can really help if you find a good one.

Megan said...

I'll be thinking about you! I know how frustrating it is to feel like you're constantly working toward something with no end in sight, but I have total confidence you will accomplish your goals! I know all of your hard work and determination will pay off. Best of luck to you, friend! xo

Lauren said...

You can do it! I am going to send my friend, Caitlyn this link. She is going through the same thing within a different major and this is her heart exactly!

Hold your head up HIGH!

Sarah said...

Your hard work WILL be worth it! Just keep your head up & go into your interview knowing that you are a smart, deserving candidate! I am glad that you are able to express this on your blog. I'll be praying for you! Good luck! :)

Stephanie said...

I'm in the same boat girl! It's hard to truck through school when you feel like you just arent doing as well as you had hoped. I'm excited that you got an interview though!!! That's such awesome news. I can tell you're totally driven towards what you want to do and that's what people will want to see out of you. :)

★ JASMINE ★ {Barbie-Bombshell} said...

Stay strong love! you can do anything you set your mind too!

happy monday! :)
xoxo

Emmalee said...

Wow! Congrats! I love the verse you ended your post with - so true! :)

Katelyn Rattray said...

Thank you for sharing your heart in this post. I can't say I relate, because I'm not in your position. But I can definitely empathize. My best friend is applying to get into the nursing program at the university I used to go to and I know how trying the past couple years have been on her trying to get through all the "pre" classes. So I get what you're saying. Just know that God will NEVER give you any more that you can handle. Keep you chin up, little soldier. You can do it! I have faith!

katelyn-innervision.blogspot.com

- Katelyn

E said...

Keep up the dedication and hard work and positive attitude and everything will happen for you.
It's so great to hear when others have a passion for what they do.
I'll be thinking about you for that interview and look forward to seeing good news on your blog.

Ashley said...

You will do fantastic in your interview. Highlight your experience, dedication, and passion for the field like you have in this blog post and they would be CRAZY not to let you in. You are clearly destined to be a pharmacist and UGA will be so lucky to have someone has driven as you! You can do it!! We are all cheering for you!

Alexis said...

Your passion for pharmacy is SO obvious and I love that :) I'm also sure the UGA interviewers will love that too! If you just continue trusting in God, you'll continue to go down the right path :)

Hope things get better!

Kristin said...

Your passion is so obvious and if it comes across in your interview, they will see it and want to snatch you up!! I know how hard this can be because I have been there with my education degree. Imagine doing the entire legwork of an education degree and then being forced to drop it because they wouldn't let you student teach (explain to me how it is fair that only ONE major in the school of ed has to take a test to pass in order to student teach).

There have been MANY MANY MANY times where I wanted to throw in the towel and wish I had of chosen a different career. With the love and support of family & friends, you will achieve your dream. I just know it! :)

Allison said...

I always wish I could just have 1 little glimpse of my life down the road just so I know for sure that everything works out! I have no idea what I want to do with my life even though it seems like everyone else does - at least you've found something you're super passionate about!

I'm sure everything will work out great for you in the end :) I'll be praying for you along the way!

Sarah said...

Leslie Bentley, you are such a smart, talented person, and I know that you will come out of this the best pharmacist we've ever seen! I know it's a tough road, but you will come out of it at the end so proud of yourself and the accomplishment you've made.

Good luck with the interviews! I know they'll love you! I'll be praying that the interviewers see your heart and your passion for pharmacy school. Love you!

JessB_Martin said...

Leslie !!! You can do it girl friend, I have no doubt ! Continue to push on and focus on one day at a time. Do not look too far ahead or you will become totally overwhelmed. You are amazing, and I know that God is going to bless you, just hang on tightly to your faith during these energy/emotional sucking days. God is able to do anything, do not forget that :) ! Love ya sweet girl !!!!!

Kristen said...

Trust me when I say that your hard work will pay off in the end! If you're that passionate about Pharmacy school, you WILL get in. That's really what they want to see. Obviously they want to know if you can handle the classes but they'll see how passionate you are about it too.

Keep your chin up! Sometimes, through all the hard work and tough classes, you just need to take a break sometimes so you can re-fresh.

Jessica said...

Getting an interview is a great thing! It will give everyone a chance to get to know your personality. I'm still in the middle of finding out if I've been accepted to any speech path. programs, but a lot of my professors told me they usually put more weight on your drive and personality than they do on your GPA, so hopefully that's the case for your program too. I just had an interview Friday, and I know I could easily drive myself crazy worrying about whether I'm in or not since I won't find out until March 15. But I have to keep telling myself that God has great plans for me, and I'll get in if I'm supposed to get in :-) I'm praying for peace for you, and that God will guide you right where He wants you to be. Hopefully it's in this program!!

the girl in the red shoes said...

You are in my prayers Leslie! I hope your interview goes well and that they can see how motivated you are and how much you want to be a pharmacist. They would be crazy not to pick you!

Abbey S said...

Oh, good luck! I know sometimes school is overwhelming, and rejection (or the fear of rejection) can be awful. But passion is a very powerful thing, and it seems like your passion will come through in your interview. I hope they're smart enough to see how much you love your work and how hard you're willing to work!

Bre said...

You can do it girl! Praying for ya!

BC said...

You can do it sweet girl! I know that if you keep a positive attitude and keeping working hard...it will all work out! Remember to pray and that HE will guide you to the right path!:)

Heather said...

Never give up on your dreams Leslie!! You can do this! Thinking of you!!

lori said...

i somehow missed this post on monday... but i hate it that you're having such a hard time... there were definitely times in my college career that i felt this same way. it is hard, it's stressful and its discouraging.

my best advice is to take care of yourself. make sure you get enough sleep, eat good, workout... whatever you need to do to make sure that you are healthy and sound in mind.

and go into this interview with CONFIDENCE. know that you have worked hard and you deserve it. i have definitely learned (through my ever frustrating job search) that you must believe in yourself before other people will believe in you!

Jamie said...

You can do it girl! I can't imagine how stressful it can be :/ Thinking of you!

Annie said...

He knows your steps Leslie - the ones you've taken and the ones you will take. Praying for you! You've worked so hard and regardless of the outcome, I know God will use the time you've spent studying for your good and His glory.

Katie said...

First of all, congrats on your interview!! That's awesome. And second-- you're right. When you're in that phase of trying to get into professional school so you can actually do what you want to do so badly, it SUCKS. It's really hard, and sometimes it makes you think about quitting. But, it's totally worth it once you get to the other side. You'll make it through, and things will all work out. Just keep hanging in there! :)

Kelsey said...

I've been in your shoes. Wanting a career so much and feel like you've already failed before you even began. But you have a one up on me you were actually in the profession, I wasn't. I think it's all part of life. There is no set path for our lives to take. We just have to figure it out and you'll get there somehow. I'll be praying for you.