One of those things that can be so wonderful, but can just as easily be a bad thing.
I've had to do some reevaluating of a particular friendship in my life lately, and it has been emotionally draining.
I'm a people pleaser.
I want everyone to be happy.
I would rather myself be upset, than someone else.
But sometimes you have to cut ties.
Sometimes you have to end things once and for all to better yourself, and ultimately the other person in the end.
Me and this particular friend were best friends, dated for close to four years, then broke up and continued to be friends. But as I've been trying to venture out, and date other people it's ended up causing a lot of tension in our friendship. He's still had feelings for me, while I've moved on. Sometimes I feel like it's just easier to break up and have a clean break than try to salvage a friendship from a relationship like that.
Our friendship had become toxic.
It did nothing but bring me down, constantly make me feel insulted, and make me angry.
Constant fighting,
Over insignificant stuff.
It's just so hard to sever ties when you have great memories, and a long history together. I don't want to make someone's heart break, and I hate seeing someone's tears because of me hurting them. But sometimes you just have to do it, and it's brought me so much relief. I feel like I'm free.
It's been amazing to me how God has really put new people in my life to help me realize just how damaging this friendship was. Our friendship had become verbally abusive in the sense that he said things to me that no one should ever have to hear. Ever. I don't deserve to be talked to like that, and no one does. It took someone else coming along to make me realize how bad things had become, and how much I don't deserve it.
Just as old doors close, new ones open.
And I'm looking forward to seeing where these new doors lead.
